Of course I am self-made,

Of course I am self-made,

I am choking on the web of my own lies.

An echoing chamber of nonsense,

where my lies bounce off the walls

and back in my skull, like bullets.

A bottomless well

that drowns my voice

with bleak little poems

about petty happinesses.

Addict’s habit:

you open your eyes

chasing shadows

with a desperation

of a huntsman

pointing your rifle towards the empty space

shooting for delightfully melodic allegories

“Today I had nowhere to cry.”

“Today the sky was shining like an empty bottle”

“I’ve lost all hope for myself.”

“Mill’s utilitarianism does its best to overcome humankind’s troubles.”

“I feel like I can’t do it.” –

“Rest assured you can do it.”

“I want to speak about myself.” –

“Let’s speak about you instead.”

“I am not in control.” –

“I quit”

“I can’t quit”-

“These days I am in good spirits. I am glad.”

It ends up in deaf poetry like this. I hope you find it to your liking:

“It is what it is. I have hope. I am getting help. We can always talk about it. Of course I am honest with you. My family is well. Nobody is in pain anymore, and that makes me glad. Being there for my family makes me glad. I am glad. I am well. I am strong. Of course you can rely on me. Please depend on me. Today I am glad I had time for my mindfulness practice. I am grateful for this coffee. Of course you can do anything you want to. Please excel in your dreams for me. Don’t bother yourself with worries about leaving me behind. I am there for everyone every step of the way. Being there for others is my greatest pride. I love being there for others. Please do not bother about me; I have trained my spirits so that they are unshakeable. I will always be well as I take care of myself by myself. Love yourself and love the world. Love saves”